7 Steps to YES!
in Daily Life

7 Steps to YES!in Daily Life

N egotiations are part of our daily life. Most negotiations are about daily life. And it is a tool to be successful in your business as well. A skill you need to learn and to practice.

And here’s the first issue: many women think negotiations are difficult. Feel uncomfortable doing it. Probably because women don’t bother trying to negotiate out of fear. Or they talk themselves out of getting the deal they want, by not believing they can get it or deserve it. They believe that what they want must mean that they’re taking it away from someone else.

This thought of ‘win-lose’ causes fear and uncertainty. It blocks because you are afraid to lose from your ’opponent, the winner’.

I define negotiations as
‘A process that will lead to satisfying the needs of both parties. Win-win!’

And it’s a fun process that gives you the possibility to earn a lot and/or to pay a lot less money. It is good to be aware of the fact that a negotiation is a process in seven phases. You can repeat the process of the seven phases over and over again and learn and improve each time.

So here they are: the seven phases in a negotiation!

About me

What is my mindset about negotiations?
As with all systems and processes, negotiations start with consciousness, or mindset. Before you negotiate, be aware of the steps and your feelings in general about negotiations. Before we start I want you to remember a very important rule. NEVER, and I repeat NEVER, accept a proposal without asking something in return. Your power words are: ‘IF YOU… THEN I…’ and ‘IS THIS THE BEST YOU CAN DO?’

[click to tweet]
What do I want and what do I think my partner wants?
It’s a good idea to consider in advance what it is that you want to achieve. What are your needs and how can they be fulfilled? Write them down and prioritize. At the same time, think about the needs of your partner. This should make you aware of the partner’s motivation and final goals, so that it becomes easy to show understanding for whatever it is your partner’s says.


What does my partner want?
Now the negotiation really begins, face to face. Before you are going for your set targets, make sure that you check whether the picture of your partner is right. Check the needs of your partner. Your conversation starts now!


How could we help one another?
Before making a proposal, discuss a number of potential options with each other. In fact both parties investigate with each other and look for matches in their proposals. Both parties need the space to make proposals and the space to respond to each other proposals. Goal is to reveal the opportunities for both parties to help each other. After all: we’re aiming for a ‘win-win’.


How will we help one another?
Now that both parties know how to help one another, the moment has come to reach a proposal that satisfies both parties. Often people rush from the Proposal phase to the Arrange phase. By not doing a proper Proposal phase, the Arrange phase becomes tense and the conversation becomes counterproductive. It’s about time to come to an agreement and to close the negotiation.


Did we indeed help one another and do I have what I wanted?
The deal is closed, in principle the negotiation is over. Now wonder if your most important needs have been satisfied and if you indeed obtained what you wanted. Reflecting on your current feelings and thoughts is important now. Close with your feelings and thoughts in mind, so that next time you can have another negotiation with the other party on the same level of understanding.


How was the negotiation process and did it influence my mindset?
After a few days after the negotiation it’s good to re-think the whole process. Write down good points and improvement points with every phase. Remember your feeling after the Closing phase. How did you feel about the agreement at the end of the negotiation? And now? Were you really successful? Obviously you take improvement points to your next negotiation. Incorporate these improvements part into your new negotiation mindset!

This is not about doing a precise approach with the seven phases. Don’t! Be natural, make it a fluent process. There is no better theory than your practice! And remember: celebrate every Yes! In daily life!

YES!!! because you negotiated!
YES!!! because you bought what you wanted to buy!
YES!!! because you had a good deal!
YES!!! because you are a negotiator now!!!

‘Sharing is caring!’
If you start putting these phases of negotiation into practice, please share your Yes!!! moments with us!
Share your insights or experiences so we can all benefit!

I love to hear from you!

Jacqueline Moleman

Top negotiator for multinationals, yet… at times not for myself. I discovered that negotiating for myself was a different ball game. And I decided to become good at it. To stand up for myself as I had stood up for the multinationals I worked for. So I created Negotiation4Women. For women like you, who deserve and want their Yes! In daily life. Let’s connect on Facebook or follow me on Twitter.

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  1. Ooh boy there is so much I can learn from this!!! Thanks :)

  2. Hi Stephanie,

    Indeed, even in love there’s much to negotiate about. Rather than a negotiation at divorce, why not negotiate marriage conditions? Maybe an idea for you as a loveconstructor?


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