Top 7
Negotiation Behaviors

Jacqueline Moleman

M aybe you do it daily, or perhaps just a few times a year. Be it a business contract or a salary increase, buying a car or a house. Agreeing with your husband on your next holiday, solving conflicts…

There is no escape to it: sooner or later you will have to negotiate!

Do you think negotiations are easy? Or are you the kind of women that experiences a lot of frustrations with the negotiation process and wants to avoid it no matter what?

No worries! Negotation skills are not included in your DNA. Were not given to you at birth. It’s not an attribute, it’s a skill you can develop. 

 
I define negotiations as
‘A process that will lead to an agreement that satisfies the needs of both parties. Win-win!’

You can read more about the seven phases of a negotiation in my blogpost ‘7 Steps to YES! in Daily Life!‘

Now I’m delighted to give you seven tips, to make you aware and make you practise your negotiation behaviours.

 
#1
Be conscious
Make sure you are continuously aware of your negotiation attitude. Successful negotiators are assertive and challenging.  They know that everything is negotiable.

 
#2
Listen
Listen to the other party. Be a detective. Pose questions and listen to what the other party responds. They will tell you anything you need to know. The only thing you need to do is listen.

 
#3  
Be patient
This is hard for many women. You  want to get it over and done with as soon as possible. Yet the most advantages are with the negotiating party that is most flexible in time. Your patience can be very frustrating to the other party, when they are in a hurry. One thing I learned the hard way is to go to the restroom before entering into any negotiation. So that at a crucial moment I wouldn’t have to step out.

 
#4
Focus on satisfaction [click to tweet]
Support the other party to feel satisfied. Satisfaction means that the basic needs of the other party are fulfilled. Do not confuse the basic need with the positioning. Positioning is what the other party tells you they want, yet the basic need is what s/he really wants.

 
#5
Don’t make one direction concessions
If you give a favour, make sure that the next gift is from the other party. Make sure there is a balance. Otherwise you invite the other party to ask for more. A very easy tool to do this is to use the following three words in your sentences: IF YOU… THEN I…

 
#6
Realize that there is always an option to say no
Never negotiate without options. Have your BATNA ready: your Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement. If you depend too much on a positive outcome of a negotiation, you will [too] easily give up on your option to say NO.

 
#7
Success is a step in the direction of your goal
Realize that, no matter the outcome, you are already succesful in doing your negotiation! In any case negotiations are a matter of practise, practise, practise. For anybody that once started a negotiation, it was a bit uneasy. If you take it step by step, you will become a Master in Negotiations and you will actually start to enjoy it!

 
And don’t you ever forget to celebrate your success!
YES!!! because you negotiated!
YES!!! because you bought what you wanted to buy!
YES!!! because you had a good deal!
YES!!! because you are a negotiator now!!!

To your Yes!!! in daily life!

 
‘Sharing is caring!’
Please share your Yes!!! moments with us!
Share your insights or experiences in negotiating so we can all benefit!
I love to hear from you!

Jacqueline Moleman

Top negotiator for multinationals, yet… at times not for myself. I discovered that negotiating for myself was a different ball game. And I decided to become good at it. To stand up for myself as I had stood up for the multinationals I worked for. So I created Negotiation4Women. For women like you, who deserve and want their Yes! In daily life. Let’s connect on Facebook or follow me on Twitter.

 
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