7 Steps to
High Self-Esteem!

7 Steps toHigh Self-Esteem!

I t all begins one day, with your birth into the world. Showered with love and affection, you are adored, appreciated and enjoyed… A low self-esteem simply does not exist.

Everything around you, indeed the whole universe, is simply an extension of yourself. Although you were cranky when you were hungry, tired or wet, you made no negative judgments about yourself the way adolescents and adults do. You never cried about self-doubt, self-hate, or wanting to be popular.

As an infant, you still hold the idea that you’re the center of the universe. When you enter the shopping mall you don’t just want a toy. You want the toy store!

And then… 20-30-40 years later [after a few ‘failures’ and many statements such as 'You can’t always get what you want' or 'You’ve been bad this morning, so you can’t have it now' or 'If you’ll behave yourself, tomorrow you can have one'] you visit someone for the first time. They ask you a simple question: ‘Would you like tea or coffee?’ And you answer: ‘Oh, it doesn’t matter” or ‘What’s easier for you” or ‘No thanks, I’ve had coffee in the morning.’ What a long way down the hill, from the once high-point of a healthy self-esteem…

As adults, we can choose the messages we accept or reject. No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

The building of a high self-esteem is a continuing process, not something that can be developed overnight. From my experience of working with thousands of people, every person has the capacity for a high self-esteem. The only question is, are you ready to make the commitment necessary to increase your self-esteem?

If your answer is yes, here are seven steps you can take:

Stop comparing yourself with others

There will always be some people who have more than you and some who have less.
You are unique and your purpose is to express your uniqueness. Who can do that better than you?

Stop diminishing yourself with negative judgments

You can’t develop high self-esteem if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities.
Stop it now!

Avoid perfectionism

Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.

Surround yourself with positive people

When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you down, your self-esteem is diminished. Surround yourself with positive, supportive people.

Acknowledge yourself!
[click to tweet]
Get yourself a beautiful booklet, and write in it every night, before going to sleep, 20 things you did well during the day. Big or small, doesn’t matter, as long as you allow yourself to feel acknowledged.

Give more of yourself

When you do things for others, you are making a positive contribution and subsequently begin to feel more valuable, which, in turn, lifts your spirits and raises your own self-esteem. Give more of yourself to those around you.

Free yourself from ‘shoulds’

Live your life on the basis of what is possible for you and what feels right to you instead of what you or others think you “should” do. Discover what you want and what you are good at and take actions designed to fulfill your potential.

#7a [bonus, because it is most important!]
Take action!
You won’t develop high self-esteem if you sit on the sidelines and avoid challenges.
When you take action –regardless of the result – you feel better about yourself!

Sharing is caring!
I’m sure you have your own ideas about how to raise your self-esteem.
Let us share with each other and support each one of us in raising it.
Add your comment in the comment box below!
Thank you!

Vered Neta

Trainer, coach and author of ‘Financial Independence for Women’. Helping to create personal, business and financial success. I am the co-founder of Open Circles Academy, and founder of Balanced Business Women. My long term goal is to support women on their path to become conscious millionaires and leaders in their field of expertise. Let’s connect on Facebook or follow me onTwitter.

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  1. Rozelinde

    Dit is een héél boeiend en mooi thema, vooral voor vrouwen. Dank voor deze mooie tips. Ik vind het enorm waardevol dat vrouwen elkaar helpen.

    Wat ik doe dat me helpt om zelfzekerder te zijn:
    1. Mijn overtuigingen verbeteren.
    Ik schrijf eerst links van mijn blad mijn huidige negatieve gedachten (over een situatie). Daarnaast schrijf ik voor elke negatieve gedachte een positief realistische gedachte.
    Niemand zal weer naar me luisteren bij de lezing.
    Ik weet eigenlijk al veel. Misschien niet iedereen, maar waarschijnlijk zullen veel mensen wel naar me luisteren.

    Deze oefening doen kan al een enorm groot positief verschil maken.

    2. Positieve affirmaties tegen mezelf zeggen.
    Dit doorbrak mijn gewoonte van vroeger om me onder anderen te stellen. VB: Ik blijf groot en relaxt. In de aanwezigheid van die persoon, blijf ik altijd gelukkig, zelfzeker en groot.
    Dit leert me inzien dat niet anderen, maar dat ik de baas ben over mijn gevoelens en mijn leven. Mijn houding en uitstraling verandert daarmee. Misschien is het wat raar om te zeggen, maar ik kom erdoor weer in contact met een fier en enthousiast gevoel over mezelf.

    Ik hoop dat andere hier ook iets aan hebben.
    Warme groet!

  2. Ellis Kahn

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    • Mirjam Stoffels

      Thank you for stopping by, Bruce!
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