7 Secrets to
Stop the Drama

7 Secrets to Stop the Drama

A nybody else sick of all the drama? I know I am! Living life in peace, happily everafter, is no longer the default. Drama is the new sex. Drama sells. And not only in the paper, the tabloids or on TV…

We all know them from closeby. People who seem to jump from one near disaster to another. Each situation never becomes totally disastrous, just enough to keep the drama going and us engaged. Certain people want drama. They chase it. Dramaholics that crave to ramp up a dull or uninspired life. Why? Because it makes them feel alive? Because it makes them feel like they matter?

Drama is a habit. A very unproductive one.

And like breaking any unproductive habit, it can be difficult to break out of the drama habit. It can require a considerable amount of discipline and practice, but the effort is well worthwhile.

How can you stop that drama train? Here are seven secrets to become healthy, happy and drama free.

Recognize when you might be creating drama

First you need to take a good hard honest look at your life. Is there drama in multiple areas of your life? Remember that you are the one constant factor in all of the situations. Are you creating the drama? If so, what’s the payoff for you? Because we don’t do anything repeatedly unless there’s something in it for us. Are you looking for attention or excitement? Did you grow up with drama and you just plain feel best when there’s some around you?

Eliminate the drama by finding alternative solutions. If you’re looking for attention, can you get it more directly? If it is boredom, what new adventure can create in your life?

Avoid participating in gossip

Humans are social creatures and they tend to talk about each other. Sometimes you might think that your gossip is good news and that makes it okay, but you never know how someone else might spin what you’re saying. It’s best to avoid gossip whenever possible.

Don’t feed into other people’s drama

Support a friend with a flair for the dramatic, but try not to get involved in every crisis. If you know she’s just overreacting, allow her to vent. Give yourself a window of time when you’ll listen, and then take care of your own needs by changing the subject to something more positive. Refuse to participate in any pity party. Oftentimes people calm down when their complaints aren’t validated. And if you focus on your breath, your calming energy may even help them to let go.

Learn from drama

Sometimes it seems like drama happens to us, and we’re powerless to remove ourselves from it. Change your perspective. Every time you find yourself in something that seems overwhelming, you have an opportunity to learn how to deal with challenges better. Life will always involve those mini fires that you feel desperate to put out. If you can learn not to fan them, they may actually be able to light your way.

Break the chain [click to tweet]

Drama occurs because multiple people become involved. If there aren’t others involved, it’s simply a problem. Once multiple people make it their business, it turns into drama. And when that happens, trying to stop the drama becomes that much harder. It requires someone who’s willing to break the chain of gossip, anxiety, and negativity. That should be you. You hear a rumor? You shut it down. Someone is complaining? You remain positive. It takes at least two to be dramatic. Don’t let it happen.

Lighten up!

Improve your sense of humor. Staying positive and being able to laugh at situations, like arriving at a party wearing the same dress as two other women or hearing a rude comment made about you, will help you rise above potential drama. Small minds thrive on drama, big minds laugh at drama.

Stop watching TV

Actually this should be the #1! All the news, the reality TV-shows, the entertainment and celebrity news, the cupcake bakers-, chopper builders-, and treasure hunter-shows are presented in the most dramatic way possible. TV networks know that people are instinctively drawn to drama so they spin it in a way that grabs your attention with a focus on drama and fear. And because it is all about viewers and ratings, they are less concerned with the truth than they are with making it sound incredibly dramatic. Face it—if you regularly watch TV you are being manipulated. For the benefit of the advertisers.

And if you succeed in keeping drama at a minimum in your life, during stressful times or when dealing with certain people you might find drama popping up more than you’d like. Then come back to this blogpost. It is not an end-all to avoiding drama, but putting the above into practice will certainly help you start the drama removal process in your life.

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Tell me…
Are you all caught up in drama in your life?
If yes, what is the first step you can take to start the drama removal?
If not, how do you manage to stay drama free?
Please share your thoughts and insights with us by leaving a comment below.
Thank you!

Mirjam Stoffels

Founder of seven2success, guest blogger at TEDx, Project Eve and 365 dagen succesvol. In my mission to make seven2success the biggest platform of knowledge and inspiration for women, by women, I want to inspire you with our content! Check us out on Facebook and Twitter! I’d love to connect! 
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  1. There are a lot of drama queens and kings out there! Especially the ones that are so busy explaining how busy they are… Drama!

    • Mirjam Stoffels

      Thank you for stopping by, Jacqueline!
      Indeed being busy is a drug that a lot of people are addicted to. A busy schedule gives an elevated sense of importance. Like hamsters running on a wheel…Don’t buy into that drama and apply #3!
      Or do you have another way of dealing with it?

  2. Tineke Hakvoort

    Hoi Mirjam,
    Wat kun je prachtig schrijven! Complimenten!
    Ja ik herken dat ik in mijn leven behoorlijk bepaalde drama’s heb aangetrokken. Ik ben me er bewust van, ik weet het hoe en waarom, ik vermijd roddel zo veel als mogelijk, kijk weinig tv en bewust geen journaal en allerlei shows, en ik laat het drama van de ander bij de ander. Dat geeft veel rust en ruimte. Een opgeruimd leven helpt ook!

    • Mirjam Stoffels

      Dank je voor je bezoek aan seven2success.com, Tineke!
      Een opgeruimd leven… Dat geldt niet alleen voor je huis en je leefomgeving. Dat heeft ook alles te maken met andere ‘rommel’ buiten de deur houden. Ik ken een coach die mensen helpt ‘het stoepje van hun ziel op te schonen’. En daarna is het natuurlijk belangrijk om het ook schoon te houden!
      Goed bezig, Tineke!

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