Stand Up!
7 Ways…

Mirjam Stoffels

Have you ever felt that hangover of remorse following a moment when you should have taken a stand? Playing in your head the ‘this is what I should’ve done’-scenario [which is hardly ever satisfying].

Standing up for yourself can be really challenging. Especially if you’re used to letting others have their way or when you’re a people pleaser.

And even if that is not the case, we have all been there. We’ve all bowed to the pressure of people pleasing at least once in our lives. We’ve all done something we didn’t want to do for someone we didn’t want to disappoint. We’ve all given into favors, requests and subtle demands for fear of disappointment and anger.

 
There’s nothing wrong with being generous, in sharing your time and your happiness with others. However, there is a problem when you find yourself giving more happiness to others than you keep for yourself. There comes a time in your life when you must learn to be selfish.

And you know what? Standing up for yourself isn’t rude or stubborn, it’s the sign of a strong person. Standing up for yourself is a way of ensuring other peoples respect.

Gaining the confidence to stand up for yourself won’t happen overnight, but as every journey, it starts with taking the first step!

 
#1
Have confidence
Developing a strong sense of self-confidence is the first step towards standing up for yourself. If you don’t have any confidence or belief in yourself, how can you expect other people to? Confidence has to come from within. Your identity is something that you can create. Every single day. You are driving this self-assurance train!

 
#2
Develop a good attitude
Attitude is everything. It impacts how other people perceive you and even how you see yourself. Your attitude sets the tone of your voice, the quality of your thoughts, and is reflected in your facial expressions and body language. Attitude is infectious. We all prefer hanging around a person who makes us feel good about ourselves. We’re all more inclined to listen and respond positively to someone who has a good attitude.

 
#3
Feel good about yourself physically
You don’t have to look like iron woman, but your appearance does matter. Looking fit, strong and healthy will give you greater confidence and help you to stand up for yourself. Choose an activity that you enjoy doing. Whether it’s weight training, running, dancing or rock climbing, throw yourself into it. Consider a martial arts or self-defense class.The inner discipline taught will improve your confidence a great deal!

 
#4
Shake the fear…
… and embrace admiration! Many of us don’t stand up for themselves for fear of scorn and rejection, but many times there’s respect that comes along with hearing a person’s refusal. While people may be disappointed, it is almost always layered underneath a subconscious, or conscious, understanding and admiration. You are a person who doesn’t cave to peer pressure or sacrifice your own happiness for the opinions of others. That’s a quality many people have yet to acquire and thus admire.

 
#5
Stay away from negative people
Another aspect of standing up for yourself is trusting your instincts about other people and learning to act on them. If another person is bringing you down with their negativity, don’t hang around them. Start to politely but firmly distance yourself. Remember that keeping away from sources of discomfort and trouble is not running away. It is an important part of learning to stand up for yourself, because it demonstrates that you won’t let nonsense and nastiness impact your life.

 
#6
Turn negatives into positives
Take the negatives thrown at you and transform them into good things. In the process of turning attacks inside out to find the good, you’ll often find that feelings of jealousy or insecurity are at the root of the attack. If someone claims you’re bossy, take this as evidence that you’re a natural leader. Or if someone says you’re too sensitive or emotional, let this be a sign that you’ve got a big heart and aren’t afraid to let everyone see it. Turn the negatives into your positives!

 
#7
Never be aggressive!
Never resort to outright aggression in the process of standing up for yourself. Being aggressive is counter-productive and will not win you any friends. Acting aggressively, verbally or otherwise, is like acting out your pain in full technicolor. It will simply turn people against you. You are far more likely to achieve a positive result if you approach any issues as calmly and objectively as possible. You can still stand your ground and be firm and assertive without having to raise your voice or get angry.

 
‘Sharing is caring!’
How about you?
Do you find it difficult to stand up for yourself?
Or is that a piece of cake for you? If so: how do you do it?
Please leave your comment in the commentbox below!

Mirjam Stoffels

Founder of seven2success, author of ‘Daily Little Secrets to Success’ and guest blogger at Project Eve and 365 dagen succesvol. In my mission to make seven2success the biggest platform of knowledge and inspiration for women, I want to inspire you with our content! Check us out on Facebook and Twitter! I’d love to connect!  And do you want to inspire other women? Write for us!

 
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