7 Rules of
Conversation

I am so excited! My first book is about to be published. Part I [of IV] of ‘Daily Little Secrets to Success’. The most remarkable thing about it, is that it will be printed on demand, fully personalized to the person who orders it.

Curious? Stay tuned or join our community, because more details will definitely follow soon!

The printer and publisher of my book asked me to give a book presentation ‘slash’ lecture to a select group of women: the all women’s Lions Club Airborne in Renkum, the Netherlands. Kind of a pre-lauch of my book.

We had a great time and all 30 members of this Lions Club received their fully personalized copy of my book. Their review:

‘Our members were impressed and you gave them a real moment of happiness. Even the most skeptical members thought your lecture was awesome! Compliments and a big ‘thank you’ are in place. Top!’

Did you know that the number 1 human fear is speaking before a group? Number 1! People are more scared of speaking before a group than of heights, insects and bugs, financial problems or death.

But not for me. I feel very comfortable, standing before a group. There is a certain distance, conversation is pretty much in a one way direction and I can prepare what I am going to say, do, which processes I will give the audience and so on. It is all about preparation, preparation, preparation. I feel [almost] completely in control.

Not so much in a one-on-one conversation, though. I am not an introvert, but I feel more comfortable speaking to a large group than in a one-on-one conversation. This made me think and I did a little research about that. I stumbled upon these great tips on Reader’s Digest. They give us the 12 Golden rules of conversation, but I boiled them down to seven for obvious reasons. Follow these timeless tips for being a good conversationalist. I know I will…

#1
Avoid unnecessary details
Don’t sidetrack. For example, if the time, date, place or season something happened isn’t important, don’t waste your or the other persons time getting it right.

#2
Don’t ask another question…
…before the first one has been answered. If you ask how someone’s children are, don’t jump in with your family health before she has answered, and…

#3
…do not interrupt
Do not interrupt someone while s/he’s speaking. Also, try to make your story short, giving the other person a chance to speak and not interrupt.

#4
Do not do all the talking
Ask questions to find out what you both have in common, and even more important: be a good listener!

#5
Don’t always be the hero of your story
However, a good story always has a hero. Build up others as well as yourself.

#6
Keep the conversation in harmony with the surroundings
Do not talk about cheese when the moon is a more fitting topic. Also, choose a subject of mutual interest. Draw the other person’s interests out and don’t hinge the conversation on politics when it should be on potatoes or on poetry. And never underestimate the appropriateness of silence.

#7
Cultivate tact
Do not be untruthful, but also don’t feel the need to be hurtful. Do not say someone looks unwell, sick, or tired. This will do nothing to further conversation and only makes the person uncomfortable. Don’t hint at it either by asking if she had a long night. Remember silence is an option. Say the right thing, or say nothing.

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How about you?
How do you keep the conversation going?
Leave a comment below and share your wisdom with us!

Mirjam Stoffels

Founder of seven2success, author of ‘Daily Little Secrets to Success’ and guest blogger at TEDxRoermond, Project Eve and 365 dagen succesvol. In my mission to make seven2success the biggest platform of knowledge and inspiration for women, I want to inspire you with our content! Follow us on Facebook and Twitter! Let’s to connect! And do you want to inspire other women? Write for us!