Stop Comparing!
7 Guide Lines

Stop Comparing! 7 Guide Lines

I have struggled with it most of my life. I’ve lived most of my life comparing myself to others. At first, it was at school and in sports. But as I got older, I began comparing job titles, income levels, house sizes, and worldly successes.

There is an infinite number of categories upon which we can compare ourselves and an almost infinite number of people to compare ourselves to. Once we go down that rabbit hole, we never find an end. And at the end of the day a lot of negative feelings within remain.

It’s tough not to compare yourself with others. Especially given the preoccupation we have with perfection in today’s modern life. The tendency to compare ourselves to others is as human as any other emotion. Certainly I’m not alone in my experience.

It is natural to compare yourself to others, and even envy them sometimes. But when you become obsessed with your deficiencies, rather than the areas in which you excel, you are focused on the wrong thing. That is a decision that only steals joy from your life.

Comparison is always unfair. You typically compare the worst you know of yourself to the best you see in others. Comparisons rob you of precious time. We all get 86,400 seconds every day. And using even one of them to compare yourself or your accomplishments to another is one second too many! And know that there is no end to the possible number of comparisons. The habit can never be overcome by attaining success. There will always be something or someone else to focus on…

But how can you stop doing it? Or at least get control of it and use it in a better way? Well, here are seven tips that have helped me:

Be kind

The way you behave towards other people seems to have a big, big effect on how you behave towards yourself and how you think about yourself. A bit counter intuitive perhaps, but that has been my experience. The more you love other people, the more you love yourself. Focus on the positive things in yourself and the people around you. You become more OK with yourself and the people in your world instead of ranking them and yourself and creating differences in your mind. You are OK and so are they.

Become intimately aware of your own successes

You are you. You have a unique experiences and unique gifts. You have the capacity to love, serve, and contribute. You have everything you need to accomplish good in your little section of the world. With that opportunity in front of you, become intimately aware of your past successes. And find motivation in them to pursue more.

Know that you don’t know all

You will never ever know what truly goes on in someone’s life. Yes, your friend with three kids and a full time job might look great in her yoga pants and tank top, but maybe she is miserable in her marriage, stressed beyond belief as a working mom and insecure about her body. You can never compare what’s going on inside of you to someone else’s outsides. Because you’ll never get the full picture. Every woman you see is fighting her own battle. She’s got demons of her own. So be easy on her. And on you.

Know that you can never win

Just consciously realizing this can be very helpful. No matter how far you go, no matter what you do and no matter what you accomplish, you pretty much can always find someone else in the world that has more than you or is better than you at something. Yes, you may feel good for a while when you get a nicer car than you neighbor. But a week or two later you’ll see someone from the next block with an even finer car than yours…

Compete less and appreciate more

There may be times when competition is appropriate, but life is not one of them. We all have been thrown together at this exact moment on this exact planet. And the sooner we stop competing, the faster we can start working together to figure it out. The first and most important step to appreciate and compliment the contribution of others. Gratitude and appreciation always force us to recognize the good things we already have.

Snap out of it!

Get up, take a walk and change your surroundings, next time you find yourself comparing yourself to others. Go for a walk, even if only to the other side of the room. Allow the body movement and the change in your surroundings to prompt change in your thinking.

Compare you to you

Instead of comparing yourself to other people create the habit of comparing yourself to you. Compare yourself to the person you where yesterday. Set your own goals and see how much you have grown, what you have achieved and what progress you have made. Kaizen your life and take notice of every small step you take in the right direction. Boost your self esteem!

Sharing is caring!
How about you?
Have you overcome the habit of comparison?
Share how you did that, down below in the comment box!
Or maybe you are still struggling? Then …shoot!
We can learn by helping each other…

Thank you!

Mirjam Stoffels

Founder of seven2success, author of ‘Daily Little Secrets to Success’ and guest blogger at TEDxRoermond, Project Eve and 365 dagen succesvol. In my mission to make seven2success the biggest platform of knowledge and inspiration for women, I want to inspire you with our content! Follow us on Facebook and Twitter! Let’s to connect! And do you want to inspire other women? Write for us!

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